Life After Loss. 3 years in.

I recently read a description of grief. It illustrated grief in the beginning as a giant ball bouncing around in a very small square. Something we can’t get away from. Every time we move or even breathe, the grief hits us. I’ve also read grief described like furniture in the middle of a dark room, where you can’t see anything, but everywhere you move, you bump into it and you can’t get around it. In both scenarios, the grief changes. In the first, the ball eventually becomes very small, but it is always in the room. It still hurts deeply when it hits you, but it isn’t a constant. In the second scenario, the furniture eventually moves to where you can see it and get around it, finally settling as a painting on the wall- always there, but not something you are constantly bumping into. 

I can relate with both of these descriptions. I know they aren’t meant to be that simple. Grief is complex. But, I think it can give others imagery to relate to and understand our grief. Grief is always there. In our case, as is the case for many, we don’t get over losing a child. It’s not that simple. But, we learn to move forward, and find a way to live while being in the room with the grief. We still bump into it all the time, but it’s not all consuming everything we do. But, it’s there, like that huge painting on the wall. And, maybe it’s beautiful now. Maybe, it’s like our Mary-Linda, bringing light and hope to others in their time of grief. Maybe, just maybe? 

On August 16th, 2020, we marked 3 years since our Mary-Linda was with us. It feels so surreal. These last 3 years have been brutal and beautiful. I don’t know how to explain it any other way. So much heartache. But, again, I know that God was with us and is with us. So, we will keep on keeping on. 

much love, 

El Momma

Below are photos from our celebration of Mary-Linda’s life, 3 years in. And, photos from the day we all got to hold her. We will all forever hold her in our hearts until we can hold her in our arms again. 

Summer Week 5 Theme Week- performance week

Our youngest turned 3 this summer. One month before his birthday he asked (completely unprompted) for a Willy Wonka birthday party. It was a perfect idea, so we got to work. We asked our family to join us for the fun and even dress as characters from the book…anyone, but Willy Wonka. Leeland, our birthday boy, would be the only Willy Wonka.

Last year the Els had a performance week and did a song from Aladdin at a family Disney night at our church. This year, the kids picked out their characters and we spent the week rehearsing and preparing for them to perform a few songs from the Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory movie.

He already had a blue velvet jacket (hand-me-down originally purchased by his grandmother for his oldest brother) I found this hat on ebay. And ordered him a size small.

Pajamas, velvet jacket and top hat…normal for rehearsals!

 Practicing for the big performance. Our stage.

 Tickets…I purchased a set of Willy Wonka graphics from Etsy. Everything was customized.

 The party table. Cake, candy, chocolate and more candy. We’ve never served so much sugar at a party!

Our handsome birthday boy. We found the vest material online. It is the same fabric print as the Gene Wilder vest. Our little Leeland, Willy Wonka was so very happy!

The Idea of the Day

It’s Summer. And It’s Hot. So, we’ve got to come up with things to do that

1. Keep us active
2. Keep us cool
3. Keep us alive 🙂

So, after a mis-hap this morning, Moustapha and I had the bright idea of me teaching the kids a show and then having them perform it for him and some other family members. So, I did (a little) research and settled on the musical Aladdin. The kids already know the movie and probably are familiar with most of the songs. And, I thought it would be perfect for our family. Bakri could be Aladdin and Maddux could be the genie & Abu. And they were both totally excited about it when I mentioned it this afternoon.

I went to amazonmp3.com and downloaded the soundtrack from the movie and a couple of songs (karaoke style) without words so they can practice singing with just the accompaniment.

Our first rehearsal went pretty well. I taught them two songs “One Jump Ahead” and “A Whole New World.” The first song is a great song for boys- lots of jumping, punching and marching. That seemed to keep their interest. Now the biggest problem is- they are both Aladdin. So, we had to take turns practicing the song. Oh well. I hope our audience doesn’t mind watching everything twice. You don’t, do you, Moustapha???
I’ll keep you posted on how this idea works out. We’re having an issue with the camera. So, hopefully I’ll have a new- working- camera before the “show.”