infant loss
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IVF at 45. My secondary infertility story and IVF UPDATE!
IVF at any age can be a very difficult and emotionally draining process. Here’s a bit of my story. I am 45 years old. I hope it gives you more information and insight into what the process is like. Continue reading
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The Journey
Grief is not easy, nor is there a formula to move through it. My advice for you whether you are grieving or not, is to live your life to the fullest. Love on your family and friends a little extra.… Continue reading
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Happy birthday to Me (trigger warning)
Our lives and my birthday changed forever in 2017. In 2017, I was the happiest I had ever been in my 40 years on earth. I wasn’t the least bit upset to be turning forty. I was pregnant with our… Continue reading
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How I imagine You
It’s always been hard for me to imagine how my babies will look and who they will look like, when I am pregnant. It was the same when we were expecting our second daughter in the summer of 2017. I… Continue reading
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Nothing is Normal in 2020
A mother’s journey to find normal after losing a child, adding to our family and living through 2020 In August of 2017, our family was the happiest we had ever been. Our four big kids were finding their way… Continue reading
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Life After Loss. 3 years in.
I recently read a description of grief. It illustrated grief in the beginning as a giant ball bouncing around in a very small square. Something we can’t get away from. Every time we move or even breathe, the grief hits… Continue reading
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Expecting our Rainbow baby
After over one year of trying and 12 cycles, we are pregnant! And, expecting our Rainbow Baby in May 2019! If you aren’t familiar with that term, check out this article from Parenting.com that explains where the term comes from.… Continue reading
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Remembering Our Baby Girl this Christmas
As I sit in my living room, under the beautiful glow of our Christmas tree, it hits me like a giant wave. An overwhelming sense of loss. Sadness. For a moment, I see her face. Tiny. 17 weeks and 3… Continue reading
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Mothering through the Unexpected and the Tragic
The most difficult year of mothering yet. This time last year, Moustapha and I just found out we were expecting. It was too early to have an ultrasound and to know if everything was going okay. But we knew we… Continue reading
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As Mother’s Day approaches, consider the heartbroken, the bereaved Mother, the woman who longs to be a Mother
It’s an innocent question. Not meant to do anything other than start up or continue a conversation. And, it’s a question we get a lot. “How many kids do you have?”“Oh, you just have one girl?”“Just the one girl, huh?”“Wow,… Continue reading