Definitely not Wasting Away again in Margaritaville

Our recent visit to The Margaritaville Lake Resort Lake Conroe | Houston

As a family of seven, we have found it increasingly difficult to find hotels and resorts that we love and that can accommodate our large family. We have somewhat high standards and want to stay somewhere nice, but not break the bank.

We were so excited to be invited to The Margaritaville Lake Resort Lake Conroe Houston last year to soak in the sun, enjoy the food, the view and the lake and share with you our amazing experience and discount code…at the bottom of this post!

Before we get to the discount code, let’s talk about how awesome this place is and what we loved the most:

View from the tower

1. Location. Location. Location. The Margaritaville Lake Resort is located just an hour from Houston and about three hours from the major hubs of Austin, Dallas, and San Antonio. The resort is within easy reach of over 19 million Texans. We’ve visited twice since the resort opened and can’t wait to go back this spring!

Sitting area with pullout couch

2. The accommodations. The Margaritaville Lake Resort Lake Conroe | Houston is an all-suite resort, featuring 335 guest suites; including 32 lakefront cottages, on 186 lakefront acres on Lake Conroe. It is the first Margaritaville Resort in Texas. The tower rooms are all suites. Every suite has a living room space with a pull out couch and a separate bedroom with one of two beds. As I mentioned above, we had our prom at this location (many moons ago) before the multi-million dollar renovations that transformed this property into the Margaritaville Lake Resort. We hosted our 25-ish reunion here in 2022.

The Els at License to Chill Bar & Café

3. The restaurant options. There are plenty of dining options that will suit your fancy. Bars and restaurants feature signature Margaritaville dining concepts – the LandShark Bar & Grill with boat slips on Lake Conroe, the 5 o’Clock Somewhere Bar, the Lone Palm Pool Bar, the License to Chill Bar & Café, Joe Merchant’s Coffee & Provisions and Boathouse Bar and Lounge. We hosted our high school reunion at Boathouse Bar and Lounge!

One of the pools

4. Recreational activities. The Margaritaville Lake Resort Lake Conroe | Houston offers an array of recreational activities: an 18-hole golf course, a three-acre waterpark with a lazy river and outdoor pools, pickleball, tennis, swimming, boating, and fishing. Margaritaville’s popular full-service St. Somewhere Spa, and a spacious, Fins Up Fitness Center, provide exceptional wellness options. With 72,000 square feet of indoor/outdoor IACC-approved meeting space, the resort can host special events and meetings of every size. The St. Somewhere Spa is a must if you are like me and need a spa day, but hardly ever get one. Pro Tip: Don’t miss the spa showers. They are amazing!! We also rented a boat and enjoyed a day on the lake. We had so much fun.

Water slides!

5. The cost. The price is very reasonable considering the accommodations plus don’t forget our 15 percent off discount code! A stay at The Margaritaville Lake Resort Lake Conroe Houston is already affordable, with so many options. We are thrilled to share the following link for 15 percent off for all ElMomma readers.

Use the following link for 15 percent off your stay! ELMOMMA15

Elmomma enjoys a margarita at Margaritaville

If it’s not obvious by now, we love The Margaritaville Lake Resort Lake Conroe Houston and love visiting throughout the year. We would love to meet you there sometime.

Dreaming of some place to go to go to go
’til that day comes
I’ll be there
alone without a care

Nobody from Nowhere by Jimmy Buffett

Parenting through a Difficult Season- The College Transition

This is going to be a very vulnerable and personal post. Please know that it’s not meant to complain, but to be honest with other parents about something our family is going through.

Maybe you will have similar struggles or have had them. If so, you will know that not everyone has a hard time with this and not everyone has an easy time with this. If you are struggling like we are, know that you are not alone.

Our oldest son is 18 years old and after graduating from High School last spring, in August he began college at a university over 700 miles from home. We were not ready.

Sadly, I don’t know that we would have been ready without taking a year to prepare. Maybe that is what we should have done? It’s hard to say now. He’s just completed his sixth week of classes.

Our son in his first dorm room

There are bright spots- his grades are mostly good. He’s made a few friends and created some new music with them. He’s in a great location on campus in the middle of everything. He had a great room, but that changed this week. More on that below.

There have been heartaches. He is on the autism spectrum and has adhd. He’s found setting screen time limits for himself and self regulation very challenging. He’s not sleeping well and has missed some classes early on.

He’s at a point in at least one class, where he can’t afford to miss more than one more class or his grade will be impacted. Two more misses and he fails. With 2.5 months left of the semester, this feels like a desperate situation.

He was basically “tricked” into moving out of his dorm room by his now former roommate. He and another student approached my son on Sunday night to have a “serious talk.” They went on to describe how they have become good friends and would like to live together and switch roommates. My son said there was awkward silence and then he agreed. That’s when they told him that he would be the one moving and they would move all of his things to the alternative room.

I didn’t find out there was even a chance of my son moving rooms until later in the afternoon on Monday. The boys were directed that they all had to agree and then wait for the University to approve. They were told via email and verbally to NOT MOVE ANYTHING until given explicit approval from the university. Unfortunately, these boys didn’t follow the rules and began moving my son’s belongings out of his university issued dorm room on Monday afternoon.

We have been through it. I am so mad! Just when he’s finally getting settled and in a little groove, this happens. This new issue basically sent me over the edge. How could this happen to a student with a documented disability? I ended up flying to see him at the end of the third week to help him through some of the transition issues. We set up meetings with the Counseling office and the Office of Accessibility. He had previously signed up for a mentoring program and not attended the orientation. So, we arranged that and met with the counselor first.

When I got to campus, it was immediately clear that I was needed at that very moment. I couldn’t be sad or breakdown by what I encountered. I just had to be in “rescue mode” for my son. We had a very productive and sweet 24+ hours together. At one point during our time together, he turned to me and said, “mom, I feel like I lost a year of my life (Covid hit during his freshman year of high school) and I wasn’t ready for this.”

From that point, things have mostly gotten better. But, every day is a roller coaster of emotions. We wonder if he’s going to make it to class? Will he go to bed early enough so he can wake up for class? Will he finish all of his work and get his assignments turned in without someone there to remind him? Will he make it to class on time? Will he eat? Will he go to bed?

It’s a vicious cycle of worry, sending alarms to his phone to attempt to wake him and waiting for the next shoe to drop. It’s hard!

Technology is a huge barrier for him- specifically a laptop with access to YouTube at all hours of the night. We haven’t figured out how to successfully limit his ability to access YouTube in the middle of the night. We have tried and he has allowed us to install controls on the laptop to help. However, it has such a strong pull on him, that he finds workarounds.

Are there devices out there that are similar to laptops- with some applications- Canvas, for example and Microsoft apps like word, excel, and outlook that can’t get on any other websites- ie, YouTube ? Is this even possible?

We want to help him be successful and this is crippling his ability to stay on task. We’ve tried therapy, parental controls with his permission, him setting goals and limits and trying to follow them. However, we haven’t had a breakthrough yet and the way we are living right now, trying to support him from home, is not sustainable long-term.

One device that has been extremely helpful is the Amazon Echo, which I purchased during my most recent visit with our son. When he and I talk on the phone, he will set alarms for the next day and I can hear this happen. It gives me a little bit of peace, knowing he has an alarm other than a cell phone to wake him in the mornings. We can also add reminders and announcements. This has been a lifesaver by helping him to wake up!

I know that this season, like every other hard season in motherhood (and in life), will pass. It’s just a little heartbreaking moving through this, not knowing how it’s all going to work out. I do find comfort knowing that God has our son and his future in His Hands. I also find comfort in knowing God has us in His Hands through this very challenging season of parenthood.

Parenthood is definitely not for the faint of heart.

Our little miracle turns FOUR

A birthday party in the park

Trigger warning: mention of loss. Five years ago, we were struggling with grief after our daughter was stillborn at 18 weeks. We were also desperately praying and hoping that we would have a healthy, earthside baby. In September of 2018, we found out we were pregnant with Jimmie. More about waiting for Jimmie here

And, in May of 2019, Jimmie was born! Read Jimmie’s birth story here.

These four years with Jimmie have been miraculous. The more we’ve learned about fertility and secondary infertility, Jimmie’s life becomes even more of a gift. The statistics that are widely shared related to fertility and women over 40 are quite discouraging. In spite of that, we delivered our baby Jimmie when I was 41 years and 10 months old.

Today, we celebrated this precious gift of life with a party at a park in our neighborhood.

We reserved a bounce house from Extreme Climbing and worked with the city to get a permit to have the bounce house in the park.

Jimmie had family and friends join from his preschool class and his BLL teeball team.

Jimmie with some of his cousins and siblings
Jimmie and some more of his cousins

Jimmie loves iced donuts with sprinkles. He has called them “Happy Birthday Donuts” for a couple of years. We have this great specialty donut shop in Houston, River Oaks Donuts . I asked friends where to get donut letters so we could have donuts instead of cake. Everyone suggested River Oaks Donuts. I ordered HAPPY (small letters) 4 (large) JIMMIE (medium) and the decor was Astros, baseball and Spider-Man! They did a great job and Jimmie loved it!

Birthday Donuts

We are so thankful for all of our children and especially thankful that God has given us these five earth-side. I hope they always know how loved and honored they are. Life is a gift. And, today we celebrate four years of JIMMIE! Cheers to many more!

Jimmie and Grandmother
Jimmie’s 4th birthday
Bakri 18, Maddux 16, Jimmie 4, Leeland 12, and Trinity 14
Dad and Momma with our four year old, Jimmie!

IVF at 45. My secondary infertility story and IVF UPDATE!

Trigger warning: infertility, miscarriage and loss

A couple of weeks ago, I finally began openly sharing the IVF part of our story and fertility journey. Today, I want to share our IVF story and experience. I am presently 45 years old. This is my IVF story.

No matter where you are in your fertility journey, I hope you can find peace in the waiting and hoping and planning. And, I hope, by sharing my story, you are encouraged and know you are not alone.

Rebekah Maddux El-Hakam, ElMomma.com

My history:

In 2017, we were praying and hoping for one more El-Hakam baby. We had taken a substantial break of over 6 years after having our four older children in a 5 year time span. We had three boys and one girl at the time and were praying for one more little girl. In May of 2017, I fell pregnant with our fifth baby. In July we found out that our baby was a little girl. We were all over the moon for her and so excited for this little one to complete our family. In mid August, at nearly 18 weeks gestation we found out that our daughter had died in utero. She had no heartbeat at a routine visit with the midwives. We later found out that she had died because of a fetal maternal hemorrhage- anemia due to an unknown cause.

This time in our lives, changed us. It definitely transformed me, in particular. I felt this new fire ignite in me. I knew I wanted to have another baby. That was never in question. But, I also knew I wanted to have a couple more babies. It may sound crazy. But, losing my daughter at 18 weeks gestation and then waiting an entire year and 9 months to have our baby boy solidified for me that I wanted two little ones to be close in age.

Baby Jimmie, 2019

We were blessed with a healthy baby boy, Jimmie, in May of 2019. He was exclusively breastfed. I believe because of this (and possibly my age) that my cycle did not return until he was a year and a half old. It was another year and a half of trying before we fell pregnant naturally in July of 2022. To say we were blown away to fall pregnant is an understatement. We were shocked and I was only a few days short of turning 45. It felt like a real life miracle.

Sadly, the miracle pregnancy didn’t last and we miscarried at home at 9 weeks gestation on August 29, 2022. Because we believed that God had answered our prayers and provided us with our miracle final El baby, this was a particularly devastating time for us. As the momma of all of my children, I felt like it was one more loss that we all endured and it was just too much.

Moving back in time a bit to July of 2022, to just before finding out we were pregnant when I started a new job. This job is an incredible opportunity for me. I learned of this position in June when I was contacted by a recruiter and sent the job description. It was full time, at an amazing Episcopal Church, and with a job description that fits so many of my job skills. It was perfect! One funny part of the interview was when I was asked if I was okay not singing and leading worship with the band, as that was not part of the job description. I answered simply that The Lord always provides a place for me to use my gifts. In the very next part of the interview I was asked if I would be okay singing, as that was definitely going to be something they would want me to do when possible. I smiled and said, “of course!”

I learned during my first week at my new job that fertility coverage was part of the benefits package. When Mary-Linda died and we were trying to conceive, I often thought about IVF and fertility treatments. However, without insurance coverage, the cost was too prohibitive and honestly, impossible. It seemed to be even more of a miracle that I now had fertility coverage and didn’t need it, because I was pregnant naturally at 44 years old!

Obviously, things did not work out with that pregnancy, nor the next one. We did a couple of cycles trying via IUI and monitored cycles with no success. Finally, in March of this year, we began the IVF process. I feel incredibly blessed to be in a position to try to conceive this way at my age. We were not successful during our first attempt, however this is how it went:

For the March cycle, I started on suppression meds as soon as my cycle began. This is to keep my body from having only one or two dominant follicles. Apparently, this also helps the patient be on a schedule with the fertility clinic, so they can start many patients on fertility meds at the same time. *I requested to not be put on birth control again, after this first cycle. When it was time for the suppression check I had a small cyst on my left ovary. My hormone levels were checked and I was given clearance to move forward with IVF stimulation meds.

We did not end up having an embryo at the end of our first IVF cycle. However, here is what happened:

Once we started the Stim meds, I took:

  • Gonal 225 units in the am for 10 days (injection)
  • Dexamethasone in the am for 10 days (pill)
  • Menopur (3 vials) in the pm for 9 days (injection)
  • Cetrotide to prevent ovulation prior to trigger starting on day 5 through day 10 (injection)
  • Triggered with Pregnyl the evening of Day 10 (injection)

I responded fairly well. I had a cyst on my left ovary measuring 18.9 at the beginning of the cycle. However, my estrogen was in normal range, so we continued. 5 follicles (including the cyst were seen at the suppression check) On day 5 of stim meds, I had three follicles measuring 9, 10 & 13mm. We started Cetrotide in the evenings on day 5 to prevent early ovulation. On day 7 of stim meds, I had four follicles on my right ovary measuring 10.6-14.4. At this point we moved to daily labs and ultrasounds and by day 10 of stim meds, 7 follicles measured between 10.3-19.8mm (I think the 19.8 was the cyst, but not sure)

“ Like a 39 year old “

We triggered that night with Ovadrel (hcg), had labs the next morning and the egg retrieval the following morning. We had 7 eggs retrieved in total. 5 of them were mature and 5 fertilized with my husband’s sperm. One made it to day 6 and began to disintegrate at that point. We met with our fertility doctor and he was very pleased with how well I did. He said I responded like a young 39 year old! 💫

After a failed IVF cycle, it’s good to regroup with your doc and discuss the plan moving forward. We decided that we would try twice more before my birthday. I will turn 46 and at that point, my fertility clinic will not retrieve any more eggs. I feel good about trying and knowing we did all we could.

Our second IVF cycle followed the same meds and protocols. On day five of stim meds, the ultrasound revealed 7 follicles growing and measuring 9.7 10 15 12.6 14.1 12.3 10.8mm. We all thought this was fantastic and awesome that we weren’t dealing with a cyst on one side this time. By day 7, I had 3 follicles measuring over 16mm, so we added the Cetrotide to prevent early ovulation. This time we triggered on Day 9, when I had 5 follicles measuring over 17mm.

Post second retrieval

The egg retrieval was a success. We retrieved 11 eggs- 5 mature and 4 fertilized. And one made it to blast! That little embryo is was frozen and a sample of cells was sent to be tested. Unfortunately, the embryo was not compatible with life. we await test results. We found out the test results during our third and final round of IVF.

Our third and final IVF stimulation cycle had the best results of the three. On the day of trigger (day 9 of stim meds) I had 9 follicles measuring 13-18mm. We triggered that evening (Thursday) and went in for blood work the next morning to confirm that the trigger was absorbed in the body. Results were good. We had our egg retrieval early Saturday morning and retrieved 9 eggs. Of those 9, 7 were mature and injected with my husband’s sperm and all seven fertilized. The embryologists watched them for the next 5 days and any that develop to day 6 would be frozen and a sample will be sent off for testing. We are praying for a healthy embryo. We had one embryo make it to testing. May God help our little embryo.

The Ultimate Wish List for Your Entire Pregnancy

I’ve been pregnant quite a few times over the last 19 years (I can’t believe it’s been that many years!) and have learned that there are some things that my body and baby need from day one. I’ve compiled this list of items I can’t live without from first positive test and throughout my entire pregnancy. Do you have more favorites to add? Leave a comment and let us know what we should add to this list. Be sure to subscribe to our email list to receive new blogposts directly in your inbox.

Vitamins and Prenatals

There are a lot of prenatal vitamins to choose from. I moved to a prenatal with folate instead of folic acid when trying to conceive after Jimmie. According to American Pregnancy Association, “Folate and its cousin folic acid are vital for developing a healthy baby because it prevents neural tube defects. Since the neural tube develops within the first 28 days of pregnancy, it is recommended all women of childbearing years consume folate. Folate prevents certain heart abnormalities, cleft palate and cleft lip. It also lowers the risk of developing anemia, miscarriage, preterm delivery and low birth weight.” Folic Acid and Folate are both forms of B9. However, “there is an important difference. Folic acid is the synthesized version that is commonly used in processed foods and supplements.” I took folate separately before we conceived Jimmie and throughout my pregnancy.

In addition to taking Pink Stork prenatal with Folate available here, I also take Liposomal Vitamin D3 and Magnesium. Every time we’ve had my Vitamin D levels checked throughout my adult life, they’ve been low. Increased Vitamin D levels are important when trying to conceive and throughout pregnancy.

Belly, Dry Skin and Joint Help

Body Butter lotion. I tend to get dry skin and this is especially true when I’m pregnant. I love this ultra-rich spa quality lotion formulated with naturally-soothing ingredients including cocoa butter.

Body Butter Key Ingredients
• Theobroma cacao (cocoa) seed butter • Hydrogenated avocado oil
• Simmondsia chinensis (jojoba) seed oil • Caprylic/Capric triglyceride

Burt’s Bees Mama Belly Butter with Shea Butter and Vitamin E This lotion is my go to ease my stretching skin while baby and belly are growing. I use this every single night while pregnant and keep using it once baby is born. Burts Bees Mama Bee Belly Butter contains no phthalates, parabens, petrolatum, or SLS, and it wont irritate your skin so you can use this balm with peace of mind. Pamper yourself during your nine month stretch, or give as a gift to a new mama!

Liquid BioCell Life is the best collagen out there-by far, in my humble opinion. I love this Liquid Collagen when TTC and throughout pregnancy. It improves joint mobility and lubrication, reduces joint discomfort, increases skin’s collagen content, promotes healthy hair, nails, gums, eyes and so much more! I want to feel like my body is working well when I am trying to nourish a growing baby.

Belly Support

Maternity belly support, undies and leggings
Click here for links to Belly Support & Undergarments

Belly Band I like this Asotony Pregnancy Support Belt sold at WalMart. It’s breathable and something that I will wear once I am about six months pregnant and until delivery. I don’t like to wear it at night, but some women say that it works well while sleeping. I need the extra support when walking and moving around throughout the day.

Leggings Over the belly leggings are my favorite when pregnant. Seriously, I love the additional support and live in leggings for all of my pregnancy. They are especially helpful once the belly gets a little bigger. I also love them postpartum.

Pregnancy under the belly and over the belly underwear. The under the belly underwear are a necessity for those times when your belly is more exposed. I’m not talking about mid drift action. I’m speaking about times when you are wearing something that is tighter on the belly and you don’t want to see the line of your underwear across the top of your belly. I like support like these spanx and these spanx shorts too when I’m dressing up and want the underwear support for my belly.

Sleep Support

Pregnancy pillow I only got a pregnancy pillow with my rainbow baby pregnancy in 2019. I never used one with my previous pregnancies. Boy, was I missing out!? I had no idea what a game-changer the pregnancy pillow is. I have always been a tummy sleeper. But, the moment I am pregnant, I stop being able to sleep on my belly. It’s a mental thing for me. However, it’s been my favorite way to sleep for most of my life, so sleeping during pregnancy is a challenge. This pillow allows me to sleep with part of it between my legs and another part supporting my back. It also keeps me on my side, which is my preferred way to sleep when pregnant.

Maternity Clothes

Favorite Basic Dresses

ElMomma’s favorite dresses that grow as your bump grows. Perfect for bump progression pics, here are a few everyday styles that I love wearing when pregnant. I also think it’s really fun to have one dress or outfit that can grow with you and that you can wear your entire pregnancy. I also love these Overalls and think this is a super cute maternity look.

2017

Please let me know if you enjoyed this list by sharing on social media and commenting here. I would also love to hear what other products you recommend while pregnant and postpartum. Please comment here or join in the conversation on Instagram or Facebook. I love to hear from you! Wishing all of you who are TTC or expecting a Happy and Healthy 9 months! Xo

Pregnant over 40! It’s possible!

Trigger warning- miscarriage and infertility

I had no idea how difficult this journey would be when we decided we wanted to try for one more baby…at age 39. In my mind, none of the negative statistics had impacted our fertility journey before, so I just tuned out the noise. In some ways, I’m thankful for my innocence before secondary infertility, second trimester loss and more miscarriages. In other ways, I wish I could have prepared my heart for the unimaginable. But, now that we are here, let’s press on and talk about how it is possible to have a healthy baby and pregnancy at over forty. I’ve done it! Praise the Lord.

A little bit more about our fertility story and secondary infertility

We started TTC (trying to conceive) when our oldest four children were 6, 8, 10 and 12 years old. I was 39 and DH was 41. We were blessed to get pregnant right away. I can’t remember exactly how long we were trying. I just know that I was on a girls trip in April talking about TTC and how I had read about ways to sway for a girl or a boy. And we were trying for a girl. By early May, we were pregnant with a baby girl.

Bakri, 12. Maddux, 10. Leeland, 6. ElMomma 39 & expecting Mary-Linda

We gave very little thought to the idea that we were older or that we may struggle to conceive this time around. When we miscarried due to a fetal maternal hemorrhage at 18 weeks gestation, we were 40 and 42. The months flew by as we learned what had happened to our daughter. No, she didn’t have any chromosomal or genetic abnormalities due to our age. It wasn’t an “egg quality” issue and we knew that because we knew to ask for a KB test when I was in labor.

Any other scenario and surely my age, in particular, would have been blamed for the miscarriage in my second trimester. We were really fortunate to know what happened to her. Although, it’s heartbreaking that she had a condition that went undiagnosed by our midwives and that our midwives missed huge trouble markers on our blood work that should have sent me to a high risk doctor. It’s also comforting to know what happened to her. An unexplained miscarriage can be even more devastating, in my opinion.

Our success after 40

To recap: we have one healthy conception at 39. And, another healthy conception at 41. This one resulted in a live birth. (Baby Jimmie) As far as supplements, I started taking a prenatal with folate and not folic acid. I also took a baby aspirin throughout my cycle and continued until a couple of weeks before expected delivery. I increased my vitamin D, as well as magnesium.

Expecting Jimmie, age 41

In this article written by Tracy Slater, the focus is on Pregnancy over 45 and how it is very possible and has a higher success rate than many of us think. I, like many women trying to conceive over 45, have done a ton of research. In April, I ordered the book It Starts with the Egg: How the Science of Egg Quality Can Help You Get Pregnant Naturally, Prevent Miscarriage, and Improve Your Odds in IVF by Rebecca Fett. The title pretty much sums it up, but this book helped me realize the things I was doing that were helpful to my fertility and the things that I was doing that could be done better. Rebecca recommends supplements specific to your situation, whether you are trying naturally or trying via IUI Intrauterine Insemination or IVF In Vitro Fertilization. There are also different recommendations for where you are in your cycle. She also recommends starting most of the supplements three months prior to trying to conceive. This is because the dominant follicle that will mature to the egg that you will ovulate, is chosen three months prior.

In my research, I also discovered FAM: Fertility Activation Method by Heidi Brockmyre. FAM also focuses on ways to improve egg quality and quantity using Chinese medicine and acupressure treatments. This has been amazing. I follow the calendar Heidi sets out and do the appropriate massages for where I am in my cycle. Click here to learn the basics about the FAM program. This program has changed my life. I do the self acupressure treatments twice a day, based on where I am in my cycle. I’ve seen a huge increase in my progesterone levels after ovulation. I’ve also seen my cycles regulate. These treatments are specifically targeted for egg quality and egg quantity and more. If you are interested in the FAM program, click here to watch testimonials, including mine.

I do believe that these lifestyle changes impacted my fertility in 2022 at age 45. After Jimmie, we began TTC again, but I did not have my cycle back for nearly a year and a half. We started FAM and after changing supplements recommended by It Starts with the Egg, we were pregnant within 3 months. On July 22, 2022, we found out we were pregnant at 44 (me) and 47 (him) years old! We were over the moon. Jimmie had just turned three two months earlier. We had blood work to confirm that HCG- the pregnancy hormone -was rising appropriately. Everything was good. Unfortunately, we miscarried at home at 8 weeks and 4 days on August 29, 2022. I had a routine ultrasound the week prior that confirmed there was no growth after six weeks and no heartbeat.

July 2022 Baby HCG progression

This experience was heartbreaking. We believed that our miracle was on his or her way. We believed that God would see us through this pregnancy. Of course, when it all fell apart, we wondered what went wrong? But, since we don’t have any clear answers with that, we decided to focus on what went right:

First, we got pregnant at our more advanced ages. That’s so amazing to me! We were just blown away that God created another El-Hakam baby after we had waited and prayed and tried for so long. Second, conception and implantation happened! We have no idea what happens after we do our part when TTC naturally. This time, we know that the egg made it down the Fallopian tube for conception and back up for implantation.

In October, we fell pregnant again. This time, I tested positive at 14 dpo (days past ovulation) and tested negative at 16 dpo. That’s also when AF (aunt flow aka menstrual cycle) began. This is often referred to as a chemical pregnancy. The embryo implants and HCG begins to rise and then something goes wrong. Likely the embryo had issues making them incompatible with life.

Again, I felt hopeful because we fell pregnant two cycles in a row. This was after two years of TTC with no success. Our lifestyle changes worked. I recently found this article written by a momma who just had her second child at 46! I was happily surprised to read about so many successful pregnancies and births by women in their forties. I do believe that our fertility outlook and chance of having a baby in our forties is not as bleak as the general medical community tells us.

Things I did to help improve my fertility over 40

1. Cutting out anything that is known for causing inflammation. There’s an exhausting list of things. And, we can’t cut every single one of them from our diets. However, even doing better, is helpful, in my experience. I am gluten free, so I already do not consume any gluten or wheat products. I’ve also cut out caffeine, drinking only the best decaf coffee from Cafe Du Monde in New Orleans. Reduced processed sugar, and increased fruit. These changes have also helped me feel a lot better.

2. Doing my best to remove items that are known to be unhealthy and can harm fertility. For me this means cutting out plastics, not drinking from plastic water bottles, not eating microwaved food, drinking filtered water and being mindful of the products we use in our home. I changed cleaning products, detergents, shampoos, soaps, and more to do my best to remove products that have known toxins.

3. Drinking drinks warm or at room temperature and avoiding ice cold beverages and cold treats. Apparently, these can be quite shocking to the uterus. We want to keep the womb warm and inviting, so avoiding ice cold drinks is critical.

4. Diet and supplements. I love the Mediterranean diet. I eat eggs in the morning and enjoy salad (not super cold) with lots of berries and leafy greens. I eat lots of nuts, hummus, lebne, fruit, fish, lamb and beef once a week. I also cut out soda. I’ve never been a huge soda drinker and already refuse to drink diet drinks (aspartame is terrible for our bodies and fertility). However, I would allow myself a maximum of one Coke a day- usually on ice. I love the bubbles in Coke. However, it’s probably not the best for fertility, so I gave up Coke. It was difficult for about three days, and then I was fine. There’s a lot of information out there about which supplements to take and when to take them. I take a prenatal with folate, vitamin D, magnesium and vitamin C. There are other recommendations depending on if you are doing IVF, IUI or a natural cycle. I have another post that will go into specifics and brands I use. Bird & Be goes into more detail here.

5. FAM: Fertility Activation Method. This has truly changed my fertility life. I did not get pregnant for two years and then conceived at 44 and 45 years old. I continue to focus on the acupressure massages at least two times a day. If you are interested, please follow the links above or click here.

To conclude, I’ve found great comfort and peace in being able to make life changes that can positively impact my fertility. I know it’s not as hopeless as some say, because my experience tells me otherwise. If you really want to carry a child, don’t give up. Pray. Ask God for guidance. I do believe that we can trust the Lord AND be proactive in our healthcare and fertility journeys. In fact, I think for many of us struggling with infertility, it’s essential that we take an active role in knowing our bodies and fertility challenges.

The Fab Five, August 2022

Wishing those of you who are in this journey all the baby dust. Please reach out, share our story and comment. We would love to support you in your fertility.

Xoxo,

Rebekah, ElMomma

EXCITING UPDATE! My Best Parenting and Marriage Strategies

On Thursday and Friday, January 19th and 20th I will be sharing my very best strategies.

Want to join me live?

You have probably heard by now, but I am very honored to be one of 11 experts sharing their very best strategies at the Ultimate Parenting & Marriage Virtual Summit.

If that isn’t reason enough for you to attend this amazing two day summit focused 100% on Parenting & Marriage, here are just a few of the other educational sessions you will be part of:

  • How to have healthy relationships with your partner, children and yourself.
  • Setting Healthy Expectations in Marriage & Parenting
  • Mindful Parenting
  • Resolving Family Conflict
  • Ways to Harmonize Your Marriage
  • Parenting Complex Kids (With ADHD, and beyond).
  • Managing Stress

And more…

Join us….

Dates: Thursday and Friday, January 19th and 20th, 2023

Time: 10AM EST / 7AM PST – 2PM EST / 11AM PST

Location: Zoom
Details: https://bit.ly/rebekahwhinysummit2

Momma and her baby
El Momma and Baby Jimmie

Grab your ticket now! 

https://bit.ly/rebekahwhinysummit2


Details: https://bit.ly/rebekahwhinysummit2

https://bit.ly/rebekahwhinysummit2

Easy Gluten Free Monkey Bread

When looking for simple and delicious recipes to make around the holidays, I found lots of recipes for Monkey Bread.

I’ve never actually made Monkey Bread before and I don’t know why!? It is so good. I’ve been gluten free for over 9 years. This reminds me of how I remember cinnamon rolls before cutting out gluten. I like to try to find ways to substitute and make recipes gluten free when possible. I decided to use premade pizza dough in place of canned biscuit dough. And it worked out perfectly. This recipe is so popular and now it’s gluten free! This is a family favorite that’s perfect for New Years Day Breakfast, or really any Breakfast or Brunch.

Ingredients:

2 14 oz bags of Wholly Gluten Free Pizza Dough or make your own GF dough

1/2 cup sugar

1 tablespoon cinnamon

1 cup melted butter

1 cup brown sugar

Glaze: 2 tablespoons melted butter, 1 tablespoon vanilla, 2

cups powdered sugar, splash of milk

Directions:

1. Cut pizza dough into 1/4 pieces

2. Mix together sugar and cinnamon. Toss into bag with the dough pieces and shake until evenly coated.

3. Pour into a spray baking pan.

4. Mix together melted butter and brown sugar. Pour over dough.

5. Bake at 350 degrees for 40-45 minutes.

6. While baking, whisk together glaze ingredients.

7. Flip over pan, let cool before drizzling on icing.

5 Ingredient Easy Bacon Egg Cheese Casserole

If you are searching for a delicious breakfast casserole that is easy to make and everyone will love, look no further! This Easy Bacon Egg and Cheese casserole is so delicious that we made it and ate it all -two days in a row over the holiday break.

This is now going to go in my weekend brunch rotation. I really love including the tater tots, but you can sub hash browns if you wish.

If you prefer to make ahead, you can make this the night before. Otherwise, it only takes about 15 minutes of prep work the day of.

Let’s Brunch !

Easy Holiday Bacon Egg and Cheese Casserole

5 Ingredients

6 slices of bacon

1 diced onion

18 eggs

2 cups of tater tots (frozen)

1 cup shredded cheese

How to make Easy Holiday Bacon Egg and Cheese Casserole:

Cook bacon in skillet or microwave (depending on preference.) Reserve grease for the onions.

Once bacon is cooled, crumble into small pieces using a ziploc bag.

Sauté onion in bacon oil (using same pan) or butter until translucent

In a large bowl combine (stirred) eggs, tater tots, and cheese. Add in crumbled bacon and onions.

Pour mixture into greased baking pans. I used two.

Bake at 350 F (177 C) for 35-45 minutes or until cooked thoroughly.

You can make it the night before. Be sure to cover before placing in the fridge. However, I prefer to make this quickly in the morning. It’s quite simple and the smell of bacon cooking is always a smell that gets my kids out of bed!

Top your Easy Holiday Bacon Egg and Cheese Casserole with salsa or hot sauce. It’s delicious!